


Cast A Giant Shadow

by Ink_Gypsy



Category: LOTR RPS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-27
Updated: 2010-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-07 14:17:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/65951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ink_Gypsy/pseuds/Ink_Gypsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coming from a celebrated acting family sometimes makes Sean feel like a failure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cast A Giant Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Waymeet Summer Blockbusters Challenge, July 2006.
> 
> On January 17, 2004, _Return of the King_'s garnered 11 Annual Academy Award nominations, none of them for acting. Elijah was living in New York City at the time, but moved back to California several months later. _The Miracle Worker_ is the movie for which Sean's mother, Patty Duke, won an Oscar. She was sixteen years old at the time, and the youngest person ever to receive the award.

According to the entertainment editor's summary, _Return of the King_ was leading the pack with eleven Academy Award nominations, and were it to win them all, it would set a new record for the most Oscars won by a single film. Sean had no idea what most of the nominations for the movie were. He had stopped listening to the television after the Best Supporting Actor nominations had been announced, and his name hadn't been among them.

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

Ally stood beside him, patting his shoulder in a gesture of comfort. He managed a smile. "It's okay, pumpkin," he said, kissing her cheek. "We did really well. Eleven nominations." He tried to sound enthusiastic, but could tell by her frown that he had failed miserably. How could he be surprised he hadn't received an Oscar nomination when he didn't have enough acting talent to fool his eight year-old daughter? He was saved having to try to give a better performance by Christine's appearance in the kitchen.

She didn't have to ask. One look at his face told her everything she needed to know. "I'm sorry, honey," she said in the same comforting tone her daughter had used, then held out the phone. "It's your Mom."

Sean wanted to tell Chris to say he wasn't there, began to ask her to make some excuse for him. He couldn't bear to hear another expression of sympathy, but it was his mother, so he dutifully took the phone. "Hi, Mom. Yeah, I just saw it." He listened to her tell him how sorry she was he hadn't gotten the nod, and how the Academy was crazy when it was obvious by his performance that he deserved the honor. When she told him she'd grabbed her own Oscar and was holding it when the nominations were read, wishing on it like a genie's lamp, he couldn't help but feel a swell of love for her. "No, Mom, I'm fine, really. I wasn't expecting it, so I'm not disappointed." When he hung up, he was glad they had been talking on the phone because he knew he wasn't a good enough actor to have made that last statement believable if he'd had to deliver it in person. Draining his coffee cup, he pushed back his chair and got up. "I'm going out for a little while."

Christine looked concerned. "Hon, are you---"

"I'm fine," Sean told her, wondering how many times he'd have to repeat those words today. "I just need a little alone time. I won't be long."

Long drives often helped to clear his head, so he headed out to the car. He had just buckled himself in when his cell phone rang. He intended to let it go to voicemail, but checked the caller ID just in case it might be important, and when he saw the name he smiled. _How does he know?_ Sean wondered. _How does he always know when I need him?_

"Hi, Elijah."

"Hey, Sean, how's the weather in California?"

"Mild and sunny. What about New York?"

"It's snowing."

"My condolences."

"For what? I love it. It reminds me of when I was a kid and we lived in Iowa."

"Are you enjoying the apartment?"

"It's awesome. You did a great job, dude."

Despite cell phones, e-mail and less than half a day by plane to get from the east coast to the west, Sean had dreaded Elijah being so far away. But moving away had been something Elijah said he needed to do, so Sean had made no attempt to talk him out of it. To make sure the move went smoothly, Sean had gone to New York to help Elijah get settled. Elijah had been perfectly capable of doing it all himself, but he had allowed Sean one more chance to let Sam take care of his Frodo.

After all their work was done, they had christened Elijah's new home by drinking champagne and making love all night. The next day, Sean had gone back to California. Every night for weeks after he returned home, Sean would wake feeling Elijah in his arms, only to realize it was only a dream. He yearned for that physical contact right now, but all he had was a disembodied voice on the phone.

"Did you see the broadcast?" Sean asked, filing the precious memory away. "Eleven nominations."

"There should have been one more," Elijah told him.

"Elijah, please--"

"Fuck, man, you was robbed!"

Elijah's imitation of a New York Wiseguy was more comical than menacing and produced the desired effect. Sean grinned. "If anyone asks you to audition for a _Godfather_ sequel," he advised, "I'd pass."

"I mean it, Sean. Your name should have been announced this morning."

"I'm fine." The words had come out automatically, but without conviction. "The movie's getting the acclaim it deserves and that's what's important. I'm actually glad I didn't get the nomination."

"That's bullshit."

Sean shook his head. Only Elijah would not only recognize what he'd said as bullshit, but also have the nerve to call him on it. "All right, I'm not glad. I wanted that nomination so much, but I didn't get it. What good will it do to beat myself up over it?" He sighed. "My Mom called first thing. I think she wanted it for me even more than I wanted it for myself. She's so disappointed in me--ah...I mean for me."

"Was that a Freudian slip, Irish?"

Sean could almost hear Elijah's dark brows rising and he quickly forced a laugh. "No, just me tripping over my tongue."

Elijah didn't sound convinced. "Your folks couldn't be more proud of you, Sean. You know that, right?"

"Yes, I know, but I just thought...." Sean hesitated.

"What is it, Sean?"

Sean's first thought was to keep it to himself, but instinct told him he could share this with Elijah, that Elijah would understand. "Do you realize," he said, "that by the time she was my age, my mother had already won a Theatre World Award, an Oscar, three Emmys and two Golden Globes?"

"And you think just because you don't have all those statues lined up on your mantle that you're not as talented as she is?"

Sean marveled at Elijah's ability to get right to the heart of the matter. Or maybe it was just that Elijah knew Sean's heart so well. "Mom didn't want me to start acting at such a young age," Sean explained. "Because of all the shit she went through as a kid. But I wanted it so much, to do what she and my dad did, that she let me do that first After School Special. I've been working in this business for twenty-three years, Elijah. Mom has to wonder why I haven't accomplished more, and I'm sure my Dad does, too. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree and all that." There was silence on the other end of the line and Sean thought he'd lost the call. "Lij? You still there?"

"I'm here," Elijah answered, then waited another moment before speaking again. "We both started acting as young kids, but I don't think I ever really thought about how much harder it must have been for you. I just kind of fell into acting. You were born into it. It wouldn't have mattered if I'd fallen on my ass, but you had two famous parents, both with great resumes. You must have felt a lot of pressure to live up to that legacy."

Sean felt the tightness in his chest loosen. Elijah wasn't going to tell him he was being over-dramatic, wasn't going to tell him to stop feeling sorry for himself. Elijah understood. "I did," Sean admitted, "but I probably put more of it on myself than I needed to because I wanted to make them proud I'd chosen to follow in their footsteps. But I haven't, not really. Every once in a while there's a _Where the Day Takes You_ or a _Rudy_, but there are many more _Encino Man_'s."

"I can play that game, too. Surely you remember those classic films _North_ and _Flipper_? You do what you have to do, Sean. You wait for another great role to come along, and until it does, you tread water."

"I've done that, Elijah, but great roles hadn't been coming along for me, not until Sam. When I realized how big _Rings_ was going to be, I thought I'd finally found my _Miracle Worker_."

"What matters is what you accomplished with the role," Elijah told him. "You brought Sam alive for millions of Tolkien fans. Maybe you won't get a gold statuette for it, but it's something you can always be proud of. I know it won't make up for the Oscar snub, but I want you to know, Sean. I would never have gotten through filming in New Zealand without you. You were _my_ miracle worker."

The words produced a lump in Sean's throat. He felt the burn of tears behind his eyes and blinked them back. "Now Mr. Frodo," he began in Sam's voice, "you shouldn't make fun. I was being serious."

When Elijah replied, it wasn't in Frodo's voice, but his own. "So was I, Sam," he said softly. "So was I."

They talked for a few more minutes. Elijah assured Sean he'd be at the Academy Awards ceremony to cheer Peter on, and Sean said he'd be there, too. Then Elijah was gone.

Sean unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car, deciding he didn't need to take that drive after all. There would be other roles, other chances. And until they came along, he would follow Elijah's advice and tread water. Sean was smiling as he walked back to the house. Oscar night was only a month away.


End file.
